On Life's Terms

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq9h6Zweq5A

ideo Blog Transcription:

(00:00):

So I want to venture a little deeper into what actually may happen when we offer an intention. So say there's something that I want for myself, and I offer up an intention. That creates a partnership with Life (Spirit, God, the universe). So when you offer that intention, you're collaborating with Life.

So now what you get from this type of partnership intention (rather than doing this goal attainment intention where you just envision the thing you want and then push to make it happen), is you not only get what your mind can conceive of, but you also get all of the magic of Life and all of the possibilities that Life is able to see, but you are not.

(01:14):

So it's maybe worthwhile to create this partnership with Life. Say I want an intimate relationship, and Life says, “Okay, that's cool. And so what type of relationship?” So I work with it. I want a relationship that’s this and this and this.

Now I may be ready for that type of relationship right now, in which case Life can have me bump into someone this afternoon, which would be great, right?

Or perhaps I need some lessons or to do some inner work so that when that relationship presents itself, I'm able to accept it and not push it away. I'm able to actually attract someone like that. And when I do attract them, I'm ready for it. I'm prepared. And I can allow that level of love and intimacy in my life.

(02:28):

And so then what Life might do (much to my chagrin) is it might start presenting lessons or experiences that I might need in order to hold the relationship or the thing that I intend.

But we don't really want it that way, right? We want the thing we want now. We want it on our terms. We don't want to have to do all this work. I don't want to date, I don't want to do online dating. I don't want to look at my issues, codependency, or fear of intimacy.

(03:16):

I just want love, and I want it now. I want the hookup. So we want it on our terms. And is it wrong to want it on our terms? No, of course, we want it on our terms. But all I'm saying is it might benefit us to look at the experiences that Life is offering.

So I'll give you a personal example. So this last fall, I could feel the intensity. I feel us going into this COVID winter again, right? This winter of isolation and a COVID winter went without a girlfriend, right? Bummer. I’m saying to myself, I do not want to do another isolated winter, you know?

(04:07):

So I'm praying hard for my intention. It'd be really nice for this winter, the holidays, to have a relationship, you know? So I put out this intention.

And so what starts coming back are some experiences that are more like lessons, right? And I can feel it, and I'm not happy about it. So at first I kind of threw a tantrum, saying, “No, no, I don't want freakin’ lessons, I want some love here. I've worked on myself enough.” But those doors were not opening.

So what was opening was I got these opportunities to look at these lessons... I actually bumped into a life coach, teacher, or guide who was willing to guide me.

(05:00):

Through her and through the experiences that were presenting themselves to me, I ended up looking at relationship patterns, some codependency, and some unfinished business with past relationships. And also getting in touch with my inner child more, being more playful, and allowing more joy.

So that's what I've been doing this winter. Now was it what I wanted to do? No, I wanted to be in love, but now what perhaps hopefully happens is this work that I'm doing will prepare me for a relationship that I want.